I am a full-time working mama for a large tech company. I’ve been working for them for 3.5 years and this has been my first “big girl job” since graduating college in 2014. I really do enjoy my job and I’m incredibly thankful for the blessing of this profession and the benefits it provides for me and my family. But, I do have to say, it’s not easy.
Once I gave birth to Emmy, my whole world was turned upside down. I have never felt so made for any job than motherhood. I was created to be Emmy’s mama and I knew it deep down in my bones. As the end of six month maternity leave approached, I knew I had a decision to make. I prayed long and hard and knew that the only way I would return to work is if I could find a daycare that felt like the perfect fit for our family. (A whole future blog post will be dedicated to the topic of daycare!)
After visiting multiple daycares, we found the absolute perfect fit! I was nervous about it but felt very at peace with our decision. Returning to work was extremely hard, but after a few weeks of adjustment, I started to feel more sure of my decision to return to work full-time and have Emmy in a loving, safe daycare where she learns and plays with her friends and teachers all day.
Just because we found a good daycare doesn’t mean that I doubt my decision from time to time. Emmy is growing and changing every day. It’s so hard to know that she is having new experiences and new “firsts” that I am missing out on. She spends more hours of the day with her daycare teachers than with me. They comfort her when she’s upset when it should be me. Cue all the mama guilt! I continue to remind myself, I’m providing for her even if I’m not with her 24/7! I’m using the gifts God gave me by doing my job well. As a result, I am earning an income that enables me to provide medical benefits for our family, provide a roof over our heads and save money for her future.
Just because full-time work is the right thing for our family at this stage of life, doesn’t mean this will be the right decision for our family forever. We continuously pray and ask God for guidance and direction in our lives. For now, I will continue to thank God for the blessings he’s given us through my career. I make the most of the time I have with Emmy and remind her how much I love her and will always be there for her when she needs me.